Gandhi ji had once said that india would be considered truly independent if in the middle of the night a woman could walk alone in the streets without fear of being hunted down...now 60 years after MKG original told this, me, MKG-the-second, adds a caveat--ditto for a man:-) well, im NOT high on alcohol--yesterday's effect couldnt have lingered on, could it??!
but why i say what i say is because of this rather bizarre incident that occured tonight. Innocent me went to the concert of AAT this evening--thinking all the while i sat through there about our long, stressful relationship--one that was never meant to be, but which consumed a lot of our energies at some point of time. Luckily we'd gotten over it now--or had we? Atleast it didnt appear so..atleast not with me. She looked as beautiful as ever and...aah! well..
Bid her a farewell with tonnes of promises to keep in touch and meet again bla bla bla and walked down to bandra station...was 11.30 in the night...the platform looked deserted..just one or two hapless souls around. The message board announcing which train would arrive and in how many minutes also had stopped working(strange..never happens)..so wasnt too sure if i was on the right platform..looked around and saw a well built man sauntering around and this is how our brief "conversation" went on-
"Bhai sahab,Borivili ke liye train yahin se jaathi hai na?"
"haan lagtha tho aisa hi hai..kahan jana hai aapko..?"
"hmmm...malad..mera dost yahan aane wala tha, nahin aaya, tho main..etc etc(didnt listen cos i felt it didnt concern me who he came to meet and why...but the general polite me, doesnt cut any conversation and nodded along with the characteristic dumb smile to give company!)...waise aap karthe kya hain?"
"main? main...well..main kaam kartha hoon..citibank mein"(made this up cos i didnt want to reveal my identity)
"accha, wowow! tho aap andheri mein akele rehthe hain"?
"nahin we share the room"
"koi bahar wala aake aapke saath rahe tho aapko dikkat hogi"?
"(what a question? wherez this guy getting to? whyz the fuckin train not coming as yet)...huh?? obviously hogi bhai sahab...mujhe nahin tho mere sathiyon ko...kyun pooch rahe hain aap"?
"nahin nahin aise hi...hee hee"
"bombay mast jagah hai na? yahan log bahot enjoy kar sakthe hain..aap karthe hain"
"haan..thoda bahot..time nahin miltha..jab miltha hai tabhi..."
"kya karthe hai"
"well, multiplex, beach walks, churchgate...bla bla"
"enjoy nahin karthe"?
"arrey yahi tho enjoyment hai"
"ohh ok..aap maharashtrian hain?"
"(what the hell...!)..nahin main assamese hoon..(forgot the capital of assam was guwahati)..siliguri se hoon...(his geography was anyway worse than mine! he didnt protest or contradict me!)
"main punjab se hoon...punjabi nahin hoon...marwadi hoon..mere dada par dada..."(dude..gimme a break!)
"bandra mein log bahot enjoy karthe hain...aap nahin karthe"?
"(i was irritated now)..arrey bola tho pehle hi"
"nahin yahan ladke log bahot enjoy karthe hain"
"mathlab kya enjoy ka"?
"wahi homosex wagairah..aap aise shauk nahin rakhthe?"
"(BOSS!! HELLO?? AAT whom i just met n came would die of a cardiac arrest if she heard this..wat'd happen to her, SN, NB, MN, AR....the long list!!?) NAHIN...sorry"
"arrey ek baar try karne mein kya harj hai?"
"hello mister..i told u im NOT the kinds..sorry!"
"gussa math hona boss..i saw u standing there..and i must admit..u r EXTREMEEEEEELY handsome (wish someone else had told this!) and my heart skipped a beat...just give me one night..please..u have nothing to lose.."
"(now i was gettin real scared and also angry--the guy was physically stronger in any case) thanks for the compliments BHAI SAHAB, but im straight and also committed ..so, sorry!"
By then the bloody fuckin train made its way...i ensured that i didnt end up in the same compartment...didnt know what to do as i was reminiscing the conversation as the train meandered from khar road to santa cruz to vile parle to ..my Andheri. got out in the usual thud that the Mumbai locals make u to...just casually turned back and at a distance whom do i see??? the same wierdo!!!! hey, didnt he say Malad..tats beyond Borivili...wat was he doing here in Andheri? he smiled..waved at me..implored me to wait..i ran like it was no one's business..turned back...saw him hastening too...knew smthing was amiss..caught the rick ( no no plz dont pun this with any rhyming word now!!!) and told him "Bhawans...jaldi...chahe tho 200 rs bhi doonga..jaldi chalo"
as the rick took off..i waved a big flying kiss to our pal who had come out of the station almost panting...hey didnt know i had this much of sex-appeal:-) ( though for the wrong reasons here, that i wudnt want ever again!)
MKG-senior? listening? wud u care to alter ur definition of free-india? Me, a 25 year old supposed adult male, with a 2 degrees to my credit--a postgrad at that, doing an MBA in one of India's top 10 B skools...had to run for my life to save my "chastity"(if it existed)and "virginity"(no comments on this one too!)from a MAN! aah!! wat the %$#@.?
hey, ive never been a homophobe...im not the old fashioned sorts who look down and ridicule upon ppl who r just different for no fault of theirs--just hormonal interplay...all through life, have had some good friends who thought "differently", but hello! even i was aghast today! come on!! this is no way of wooing, if at all it was one! when the person has made it CLEAR to you that his orientation is straight and fine, why hound him? live n let live boss??
well...i'm snug and safe in my bed...alone that is(!)...for once, just once, i cud empathize with the kinds of insecurities that the feminine of the species have to face everyday...the diurnal struggle they face...phew! it cud be really terrifying, real real terrifying! aaaaaaaahhhh...no more...AAT , im meeting u trrow ..just in case ive gotten "confused" myself in the bargain:-)))))